Soul Alchemy for the brave, or the strong, or the desperate

Life as I knew it ended in early 1987, my 45th year. I had closed my law practice in Birmingham, Alabama, and had moved to Santa Fe, New Mexico, to dive into the New Age and go to massage school. I had tried to make a new career out of writing consumer help books, and that was not working out. I was not making financial progress as a massage therapist, bodyworker and healer. My second marriage had failed. I did not feel like I was a good father to my children. I was living on an inheritance from my father's father. The New Age had not helped me. I was out of bright ideas and felt I had failed in every way a man could fail.

One morning, I prayed, "Dear God, I do not want to die like this, failed, please help me. I offer my life to human service." About ten days passed. I woke in the wee hours and saw two white beings shaped like shifts hovering above me in the darkness. I heard, "This will push you to your limits, but you asked for it and we are going to give it to you." I saw a white flash and was physically jolted by something electrical. That happened two more times. The beings faded out. I was shaking and sweating.

The changes began slowly. As time passed, I was turned inside out, upside down, and every which way but loose, and was stood before endless mirrors looking at me, by forces beyond this world—angels like Michael and Melchizedek, and the Hindu Goddess Kali, who aren’t so concerned with religion, but are concerned with waking people up, restoring people's feminine essence, and how people live each day, which is what Jesus in the Gospels really was about.

My life became a crucible of dreams, visions, and wondrous not of this world experiences. I experienced a dark night of the soul, and then a black night of the soul. I endured difficult worldly experiences and hard truths, including getting to know Evil in me, in people around me, in society, and in the spirit realms. I was stripped down, rebuilt, and set on a path I never saw coming.

I ran out of money in 2000 and was homeless for a good while, which I viewed as a spiritual assignment and part of my training and soul evolution. My estranged father died in 2005, and I received an inheritance and was able to live "normally" until that inheritance ran out in 2015. By then, I was convinced I was blocked from being able to earn a living wage via my own efforts. I was homeless for two more years, and my father's estate offered me a loan against my next inheritance, and I was able to live "normally:" again.

In 2121, my father's estate settled and after taxes I had more money than I could ever imagine spending. I gave part of it to my children and their children and to friends in need. I kept the rest to  live on and to fund The Redneck Mystic Lawyer and Not So Sweet Home Alabama podcasts and my ebooks getting published at the archive.org free library.

All along, I lived from day to day, trying very hard to do the work angels trained me to do regardless of my worldly circumstances. Some days I did better than other days. I no longer felt like I was.from this world, but I was till living on it and engaging what each day served up. I'm still doing that. I didn't choose this path, but I walk it because I have no other choice.